Dragon Bones

A Mostly Harmless Guide to Your Smoky Mountain Interlude (Near That Dragon-y Bit)

Enjoy this Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy themed approach as a users guide for your stay at the Dragon's Lair. This is meant to be a fun and less boring read than the standard House Descriptions. 

Right, so, you've decided on the Dragon's Lair as your vacation sanctuary. Congratulations. You've somehow managed to navigate the vast, bewildering chaos of the universe and ended up here, in a cabin nestled near that... thing... in the Smoky Mountains. Yes, that Dragon-y bit.

First things first, and this is crucial: try not to panic. And, if possible, attempt to relax. It's a vacation, after all. A brief, hopefully non-lethal, respite from the general absurdity of existence.

Inside, you'll find three large comfortable bedrooms, each equipped with a queen-sized bed and each has their own 'dressers' and 'closets' – ingenious devices designed to temporarily shelter your clothes and other paraphernalia. The kitchen, while not designed for elaborate gastronomic feats, has all the essentials for preparing great meals. There's a dining room for the civilized consumption of said meals, and a generously proportioned living room for post-adventure relaxation or simply contemplating the mysteries of the universe.

For those moments when you're not conquering mountain roads, we offer board games, outdoor games, a large front porch and a grill for al fresco culinary experiments. The property also features a fenced-in backyard, ideal for containing small humans, small furry non humans or simply enjoying a bit of outdoor space.

Location, as they say, is key. You're practically spitting distance from the Dragon. Beyond that, a short drive in any direction will lead you to the stunning vistas of the Cherohala Skyway, the iconic Blue Ridge Parkway, and the natural wonders of Nantahala National Forest, Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest, and the vast expanse of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Plenty of opportunities for scenic drives and outdoor exploration await.

Tapoco Lodge is a mere half mile down the road, as local southerners would say. They boast a Robust outdoor dining experience and a great view of the Cheoah River.

Fear not, for this establishment is equipped with that modern marvel known as Wi-Fi. Feel free to connect your various glowing rectangles and engage in the endless stream of digital content available through your own personal accounts. Your accounts will automatically log out on check-out day. Just remember to occasionally look up and appreciate the actual, non-pixelated scenery.

Right, the slightly less whimsical but equally important bits. Our house rules are fairly standard and designed to ensure a pleasant experience for everyone. We operate on the principle of mutual non-annoyance. This means that the general expectation is that you tidy up after yourselves as you go, to refrain from smoking indoors, and to take a moment to read through the house guide when it's sent your way. It contains lots of vital information, like how everything is generally designed to work and things such as the location of the emergency biscuit supply (not really, but wouldn't that be nice?). It is all Common sense, really.

To ensure you have a comfortable experience, we provide a starter supply of the following items:
Trash Bags, Dishwasher/Laundry Pods, Paper Towels, Toilet Paper, Toiletries, Coffee And Propane for the grill. However, be warned! These are starter supplies, not an infinite, self-replenishing cornucopia of domestic necessities. Depending on the duration of your sojourn and the, shall we say, enthusiasm of your usage, you may find yourself needing to acquire additional resources. Meaning If you run out, you're on your own. We won't be delivering anything, because, frankly, we're probably busy trying to figure out why the Earth exists in the first place.

So, come on down. Enjoy the thrill of the Dragon, the beauty of the surrounding area, and the simple comfort of a reasonably well-appointed house. It's a good spot. You'll like it. 

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